


Empty Spaces

by RogueWolf



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst and Feels, Depression, Established Relationship, Hopeful Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-31 02:16:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6451486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RogueWolf/pseuds/RogueWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When James Ironwood goes missing one day, nobody knows what to do. When Qrow finds him two months later, he still doesn't know what to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Empty Spaces

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't forget to read the tags.

James Ironwood was missing.

Well, not exactly missing; he still communicated with his lieutenants and he still sent in statements to the news, but the general himself was gone.

The council assured the public that James was all right - “He’s working on a high level project right now and can’t be disturbed” – but after a month even they were worried. James had never disappeared like this before and, for all that he assured them he was fine and would be back soon, they knew that soon wouldn’t be soon enough. Already, there were rumours spreading through the city that James was gone, that he had abandoned Atlas, and that he might even be dead. They might not have spawned enough negative emotions to draw the Grimm, but the council worried.

* * *

“We can’t keep telling them he’s working on a project,” Asper told Ozpin and Qrow. Their face was tight with worry and Qrow could see them twisting their hands together in their lap. “I don’t know why James has left, nor do I know when he’ll return but,” they leaned forward, “no matter his reasons, we need him back here.”

Oz steepled their fingers and rested them against their lips. “I’m not quite certain what you want us to do, Asper. James hasn’t reached out to us.”

Asper shook their head. “But Qrow has contacts where I do not.” They turned to look at Qrow. “If you would be willing to help search for him, I’d be happy to-”

Qrow cut them off with a wave of his hand. “I don’t need you to pay me or give me anything for helping out. James is my…friend, you know that.”

Ozpin glanced up at Qrow out of the corner of their eye but didn’t say anything. Asper didn’t say anything, but the lines around their mouth deepened. Qrow didn’t know if James had told Asper about their relationship, but if not…he wasn’t going to be the one to spill the beans.

“Thank you,” Asper said, their voice heavy with relief. “I’ll be in touch.” Their image blinked out and Qrow sighed.

“You’re going to go after him,” Ozpin murmured, without looking away from the wall.

“Yeah, I have a few ideas where he might be.” Qrow rubbed at his face wearily. “It’s going to take some time, though.”

“Don’t worry,” Ozpin reassured him, “I can handle everything on this end. You go find your husband.”

* * *

Qrow searched for almost three weeks, visiting James’ old haunts and sending out feelers – only to get nothing back – and slowly coming to the realization that he might not be able to find James this time. Asper hadn’t heard anything from their connections, and neither had Oz. Even Winter had tried asking James where he was, but she hadn’t gotten more than a polite note back saying that he was fine and would return at a later date.

Qrow flopped onto his bed, muscles aching from all the flying he’d done that day. He could feel worry creeping up on him; fear that he’d never find James and anger that James hadn’t come to him before he disappeared.

He rolled over and stared up at the ceiling. He just wanted his husband back so he could hold him, cuddle him, and kiss him until James never thought about leaving again.

He sighed and threw an arm over his eyes. He’d find James, he’d _have_ to find James. Qrow couldn’t let himself believe otherwise.

He had just began to drift when his scroll beeped. With a muttered curse, he lifted his hips and wriggled his scroll out of his back pocket. There was a new message for him, number unknown. Qrow frowned, swiped it open, and then froze, his fingers tightening around his scroll.

_I don’t know if it’s right for me to give this away but you can find the general at the attached coordinates. The only reason I know about it is because I swore to keep them secret. I expect the same from you. I wouldn’t have sent this to you – I respect the general’s right to privacy and needing time alone, even from his own husband – but I think James needs to talk to somebody. I think you’ll understand._

_-D_

Qrow was off the bed in a flash, pulling up the coordinates and mapping them out. They led to a point north-northwest, towards the stretch of islands between Vacuo and Atlas. It’d be faster if he took one of the airships, but the message swam through his head - _I swore to keep them secret. I expect the same from you. –_ and he headed towards the rooftop instead. It’d take him at least three days to fly there but if he flew through the night...

Once he was on the rooftop, he checked the coordinates again, tucked his scroll away, and leapt off the building. The wind reached out to cradle him as he shifted; as he spread his wings wide to catch the air, he could feel the faintest glimmer of hope stirring in his chest.

* * *

Qrow made it to the coordinates in two days. He was tired, hungry, and his arms and back wouldn’t stop screaming at him. Seeing the small town nestled amongst the trees was worth it, though, and he felt that glimmer of hope grow into something bigger, something more _real_.

He headed into the town, making sure to keep his scythe hidden beneath his cloak – it wouldn’t do to scare anybody. As he walked, he kept an eye out for James - for the flash of a white uniform – but the people he saw wore dark colours, more suited for blending into the forest around them.

It was easy enough to find the inn; Qrow had smelt food cooking the moment he landed, and the inn itself was decorated with garlands and banners, giving it a festive air. Inside, it was just as welcoming. Qrow had come to expect dark and cramped inns in out-of-the way towns and villages, but whomever had built this building had built it with entertaining in mind.

The bar gleamed and stretched the whole length of the far wall. At one end there was a roaring fireplace and next to was a stage, set a few feet off the ground. The room flickered with candlelight, but there was no smoke on the air; the candles and torches were electric, Qrow realized. There were tables and chairs scattered around the room, and everything shone as though freshly polished. Qrow liked it.

There were less than a handful of customers in the room, but Qrow wasn’t surprised. He’d gotten here after the time most people ate lunch, and it was still too early for the dinner rush. It was the perfect time to see what information he could scavenge from the innkeeper before they were distracted by the evening crowd.

Qrow strode over the bar and pulled out one of the chairs. As he rested his elbows on the bar, there was a muffled, “Be right with you,” from the back. Qrow settled himself more comfortably onto the chair and, a few minutes later, the innkeeper emerged, a tray of freshly baked bread and sliced cheese held in his hands.

“Hello!” He placed the tray on the counter and beamed at Qrow, “Welcome to The Lighthouse.”

Qrow raised an eyebrow. “Odd name for a forest inn.”

The innkeeper laughed. “It does seem that way if you’re not used to it. But the forest get pretty dark once the sun’s gone down.” He pointed at the ceiling. “We’ve a tower on top and we light up the lamps once dusk sets in. Helps keep people from getting lost.”

Qrow had seen the tower when he flew in, but he had thought it was merely decorative. “Clever,” he told the man.

The man smiled happily and brushed his hands down the front of his apron. “Right. Well, what can I get you?”

Qrow grinned. “Something to eat, your best beer, and a name.” He hooked a thumb at his chest. “I’m Qrow.”

“Allen,” the innkeeper told him. “If it’s food you want, we have fresh bread and cheese,” he nodded at the tray sitting between them, “and there’s some leftover stew from lunch. Otherwise, I’m cooking up a couple of pot pies, but they won’t be ready for a bit.”

“The stew is fine,” Qrow assured him. “And I won’t say no to some of that bread.”

* * *

The stew had been excellent and the bread fluffy and warm. As Qrow mopped up the last of the stew, Allen poured Qrow another draft of beer and then leaned against the bar, his own drink held between his hands.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what brings you to The Lighthouse?”

Qrow swallowed his bite of bread and chased it down with a sip of the beer. “I’m looking for a friend,” he told him. “I heard he might be in the area and I was hoping to find him here.” He looked at Allen over the top of his mug. “Maybe you’ve seen him? Taller than me, dark hair, blue eyes, wears a glove on his right hand.”

Allen didn’t freeze but Qrow saw the way his fingers tightened around his glass and the way his shoulders tensed. “Are you now,” Allen said softly. He looked up at Qrow from the corner of his eyes. “You wouldn’t happen to be Qrow Branwen now, would you?”

Qrow stilled, one hand falling to his side so he could reach his scythe faster. “What if I were?” he asked.

Allen took a sip of his drink, his eyes never leaving Qrow’s face. “If you were, I’d let you know that I have a message for you.” He put his drink firmly down on the counter. “And if you weren’t, I’d tell you to enjoy your time at The Lighthouse,” Allen’s eyes glittered with the light, “but that it’d be best if you didn’t stay the night.”

The two stared at each other for a long moment and then Qrow shook his head and sighed; he brought his hand back onto the counter and spread it wide to show it was empty. “I’m Qrow Branwen,” he said quietly. “What’s your message?”

Allen studied him and then turned his glass in a half circle on the counter. “‘Go away,’” he told Qrow.

Qrow blinked. “What?”

“That’s the message,” Allen told him. "That’s all he said.” He nodded at Qrow and touched a finger to his right hand. “Looked like your friend too.”

Qrow’s heart started to beat faster in his chest. “Do you know where he is?”

Allen tilted his head. “You’re still going to look for him? Even though he told you to leave?”

Qrow snorted. “Listen, just because he told me to do something, doesn’t mean I’m going to do it. He knows that; he just tries to pretend that he doesn’t.”

 Allen let out a sigh and nodded. “Good,” he said, “good.”

Qrow raised an eyebrow. “Good?”

Allen fidgeted with his drink and then leaned in. Qrow leaned in as well. “Look, I’m not here to pry into people’s business,” Allen said quickly. “I’m an innkeeper because I like making sure that people have good food and a place to sleep for the night. That’s all. Your friend is a good customer; he tips well, doesn’t cause trouble, and is always polite. Best customer I’ve had in a long time. But…” he licked his lips nervously. “He doesn’t talk to anyone. Nobody sees him during the day and at night he just sits in the back corner. He hasn’t done anything wrong – everyone has the right to the main room at night – but it’s making people nervous. And...there’s been reports of increased Grimm activity in the area.”

Allen leaned back and reached into his apron. “If he’s really your friend, then I think that he needs you to stay.” He pulled out a key and slid it across the counter to Qrow. “He just might not know it yet.”

* * *

All he had to do was unlock the door. Qrow stared at the door and then down at the key in his palm. He had felt so confident when talking to Allen but now, seeing the door and knowing that James was behind it, it made his stomach flip-flop.

This was his husband, he reminded himself firmly; he knocked once, unlocked the door, and stepped into the room.

The lights were off; the window was open, the curtains lifting and falling with the breeze. There was a chair facing away from Qrow and, as he shut the door, he heard James growl, “I thought I told you to go away.”

“I didn’t listen.” There was a lamp on the nightstand by the bed and Qrow pulled its chain, filling the room with light. “I don’t know what made you think I’d just up and leave after trying to find you for almost two months.”

“I didn’t need anybody to find me,” James retorted. “I said I would be back shortly.”

“Yeah?” Qrow asked, stalking towards James. “And how short were you thinking? Because it didn’t seem like you were planning on coming back any time soon.” He crossed in front of the chair and stared at James. “Jim, what’s going on?”

James didn’t look at him. He slouched down further into his chair and the blue cap he had on shadowed his face and kept Qrow from seeing anything. “There’s nothing going on, Qrow. I just needed a break.”

“Bullshit. If you needed a break you would have told me, _like you’ve always done before_.” Qrow knelt on the floor and placed his hands on James’ knees. “Jim, Please, what’s wrong?”

James didn’t say anything, just sat in his chair, and Qrow began to worry that James wouldn’t talk to him at all, when James slowly brought his flesh hand up and placed it over Qrow’s. Qrow flinched at how cold it was and he wrapped his hands around James’ to warm it.

“I don't know what happened. I was doing so well and now...I’m so cold, Qrow,” James whispered. He took a deep breath, and shuddered out a shaky exhale. “I thought…maybe I was better. And I was,” his fingers clenched around Qrow’s and Qrow bit the inside of his cheek to keep from hissing.  “I met you and I was so happy and I felt like nothing would ever be wrong again.” James laughed bitterly. “But that’s not true, is it?” He shoved back the brim of his hat and Qrow could finally see the dark smudges underneath James’ eyes. “I hide it with work and taking care of my students and loving you and it helps, _it does_ , but Qrow,” James stared at him, his gaze weary, lost. “It always comes back.”

He pulled his hand away from Qrow and clutched at his chest, fingers tightening in his shirt as he curled up on himself. “I hate it,” he said, his voice so low that Qrow almost couldn’t hear him. “I hate feeling like there’s this empty space inside of me that makes everything so _cold_.” He hiccuped out a breath. “It takes everything away from me until I just want to hide and never come out.” James shook his head back and forth, as though he could fling away the feeling. “I’m supposed to lead my people, protect them, keep them safe. How can I do that, if I can’t even protect myself?”

“Oh, Jim,” Qrow breathed. He pushed himself up so that he could wrap his arms around James. “Jim, no.”

James curled even tighter into himself and Qrow just held on. He could feel James shaking and the way he kept breathing in short little gasps of air. Qrow rubbed circles into James’ back and felt horribly out of his depth. Summer had always been the best at helping others and now that she was gone, Qrow had let Ozpin take care of any issues that cropped up.

It wasn't like he didn't know what James was going through; Qrow had fought – still fought – depression, but he at least had people to turn to; he had nieces to help raise and students to teach. And when that didn’t help? Well, Qrow was no stranger to drinking his problems away. It might not have been healthy, but it worked, at least for him.

James, though…Qrow  pulled him closer. James hadn’t really had anyone until Ozpin brought him into their circle, and even then James had thought of them as allies first and friends second. It was only within the last few years that James had begun to open up, to laugh and smile and _really_ mean it, instead of the false happiness he showed the press. James had never had a support structure; he was always too busy being everyone else’s.

“Jim,” he whispered. James shivered against him. “Jim, let me take you home, please?”

James shook his head fiercely, making Qrow move back and forth with the motion. “No,” he growled, “no. I can’t go back like this; they’ll relieve me of my duty as headmaster and general.” He pulled back from Qrow until he could look them in the eye. “No.”

“Ok,” Qrow said slowly, “we’ll stay here. But Jim, we need to go back soon.”

“I know, Qrow.” James closed his eyes and leaned forward to rest his head against Qrow’s shoulder. “I’m just…I’m not ready yet.” He breathed in a slow breath and then let it out, just as slowly. “I just need a few more days, ok?”

“Ok,” Qrow agreed, and James slumped even further against him.

“Thank you,” he whispered, and Qrow nodded silently. He began to rub circles against James’ back again as James fell back to pieces inside his arms.

**Author's Note:**

> This story hit kind of close to home. It wasn't something I planned on writing at all, but I did.   
> I marked this as a hopeful ending but I don't know if that's obvious...Depending on what y'all think, I might need to remove that.
> 
> [You can find me on tumblr here](http://roguewolfprints.tumblr.com)
> 
> Comments are love.


End file.
